I think it was kindergarten when I first realized my love for the unique. When the class would color our papers I would extend the girls hair and add multiple colors for dimension. She wouldn’t be complete without a set of spider looking lashes and a beautiful shade of green for the iris. I always envied those girls with green eyes because I felt my dark chocolate eyes were a bit too boring. My teacher, Mrs. Corum, wouldn’t ever correct me when she saw what I created on paper. She never cared if I colored outside the lines as long as I never put the crayons down. She pushed me to test my creative limits.
26ish years later I have traded in my crayons for different “magic wands.” Today I still add dimension to hair- although it is attached to a real human. Today, I stare into the eyes of my clients and I get to not only memorize the specks of gold and sink into the seas of blue but I get the honor of choosing complementary colors to make them stand out and see them sparkle when they see their final look.
It was around the kindergarten age when I professed a few octaves higher than I should have that I wanted to be president one day. I also wanted to be a photographer, makeup artist, hair stylist, song writer, music producer, and valedictorian. When my classmates said it was impossible, I had that 5 year old faith that we lose as we age. With tears in my eyes I told my mom about my friends not believing I could accomplish all I wanted to accomplish. She looked straight at me and said, “I believe you can be any and everything you want to be. Women can have, and do it all.” To this day, I have about 500 songs written, scraps of paper that line the inside of a cardboard box. I had a song I wrote and produced played for a big named disney artist that really liked it. No, I am in no way a music producer or a songwriter with monetary gain but I did it… I wrote a song, I produced a song and I checked that off my bucket list. I hate to brag but,… I was also head cheerleader, senior homecoming queen, valedictorian, & salutatorian…. I was of course homeschooled so there weren’t necessarily any other choices. (Cue the courtesy laughs.)
I left a public school in my 9th grade year because I was tired of being bullied for being myself. If you can, think back to a time when 15 year olds actually looked like 15 year olds instead of looking like Kylie Jenner. During this time, I was one of the very few that kept my nails done, styled my hair every single day, wore makeup, and dressed like I was auditioning for the Spice Girls. You could call me… unpopular spice. I went to a school where they would give you a C for a well researched essay and an A+ for playing a sport. I have never been a sporty girl. It took me a while to figure out why in God’s name those men would want to put on a heavy uniform in the freezing cold and run into each other over a brown piece of pig skin. I was also not very competitive. When I would cheer for the games, I would be just as excited if the other team scored. I’ve always believed I want everyone to make it, and everyone to be happy…..A trait that would eventually become a detriment to me later in life as I learned that pleasing everyone would have a deleterious effect on my mental health.
I look back on those days of wearing flipped out hair, 90’s frosty makeup with matching press on nails and see where that was only the beginning of the realization that I would always walk the road less traveled….in hot pink platforms nonetheless. I still to this day wear things that my friends and family shake their heads at, but its me, and its all I know how to be. I have learned being a creative thinking person means you are extremely vulnerable to criticism 100% of the time. Creative people take hits to their self esteem daily but its those times when you get it right that makes it all worth while. That affirmation of knowing you made someone feel beautiful is one of the most rewarding feelings in the world. I would take the difficult clients, the stressed out brides, and the people that want a completely different look except keeping their length and color for that percentage that loves what I do for them.
I realized those last dreams I spoke out loud in kindergarten came true. My journey to where I needed to be in life took many detours. I started out working in fashion, then to the music business for a small time which led me to Beauty School where I received a $20,000.00 piece of paper saying that I can do hair and makeup. It was in hair school my silly dream of being “president” came true as I was voted school president and led many of the extra curricular groups and fundraising events there. It goes to show you, the things you say can pave your way. I never dreamed of a 9-5 behind a desk. I never dreamed of saving lives as a nurse or doctor. I never dreamed of helping cultivate the minds of the young as a teacher or building houses starting with a blueprint. I have learned lately that it is ok to admire those people that can do those jobs and to not beat myself up for not being more of a logical, left brain thinker. I was born to be me. I was called to be creative.
Janae' Bella 